Their sex life will be unique to them and their own set of circumstances at the time. Different factors can affect a person’s libido and how often a couple has sex.
According to the International Society for Sexual Medicine, there is no “normal” frequency of sex, providing everyone in the relationship is happy.
How often a couple should have sex depends on what the people in the relationship decide works best for them. This can range from no sexual activity at all to a few times a day, week, or year.
Based on 2020 research , the following percentage of adults aged 18–44 with a steady partner engaged in weekly sexual activity:
The same research noted the frequency of sexual activity for those who had one or two partners in the last year in 2012:
The authors of a 2019 article found that the median number of times people who were cohabiting or married had sex was three times per month. Married or cohabitating couples are more likely to have sex more often than people who are single, divorced, or widowed.
There will be times when couples have more or less sex than is typical for them. Factors that can affect how often a couple has sex include:
- A person’s overall health: Medical conditions, medications, and other treatments can affect a person’s sex drive. For example, people may experience hormonal changes during menstruation, pregnancy, and menopause. Males with low testosterone may become less interested in sex. Antidepressants can also decrease a person’s libido.
- Age: People may be more likely to have less sex as they age. This can have an association with a person’s health and hormonal changes.
- Relationship changes: As people are in a relationship for longer, it may become more routine. It is important for couples to maintain open communication to discuss their sexual needs.
- Life events: Work, familial responsibilities, and day-to-day responsibilities may result in people being tired and preoccupied. Couples may find it beneficial to schedule date nights and nurture their relationship.
World events can also affect how often couples have sex. For example, during the height of the COVID-19 outbreak in China, overall sexual frequency ong young people.
Conversely, in the United Kingdom, sexual activity increased in those who were in serious relationships compared to those who were casually dating during social lockdown.
How often should couples have sex?
Research from 2022 found that the pandemic led to a more active sex life for married people, which appears to have persisted after the lockdown ended 
Research shows participating in regular sexual activity benefits health, well-being, and quality of life. Additionally, people who have an active sex life may:
- be more physically fit
- be happier
- have better cognitive function
- have an increased life expectancy
- have a better immune function
However, while sexual activity may enhance health, these findings may be true because people who have sex more often tend to be healthier from the outset.
Having sex can also promote relationship satisfaction in couples. Research shows that sex and affection have a positive association. Sex and the increased affection that accompanies it affects relationship satisfaction.
A 2015 study reported that sexual frequency is not as important to well-being as previously thought. It indicated that for those in relationships, the frequency of sexual activity does not have a significant association with well-being.
However, sexual experiences are an essential part of the quality of life for some people. Not being able to meet their sexual desires can result in sexual frustration. It may also lead to higher levels of depression.
People may find that their sex drive fluctuates throughout their lives. At times, this may lead to one partner having a higher sex drive than the other.
If a couple feels dissatisfied with their sex life, they may want to consider a sex therapist or a couples therapist.
Couples therapists specialize in working with couples on relationship issues. To search for a couples therapist, a person can visit the American Association for ily Therapists website. They can use the search feature to locate a nearby therapist.
A sex therapist has particular training to help people with their sexual issues. To find a sex therapist, a person can try the referral directory on the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists website.
What happens during sex therapy?
Sex therapy typically involves meeting a sex therapist in an office setting. People can attend these sessions alone or with their partners.
Costs of couples therapy or sex therapy can vary widely, and insurance may not cover it. However, some diagnostic sexual disorders such as erectile dysfunction and female sexual interest/arousal disorder may qualify for sex therapy under a person’s insurance.
A person looking for more cost-effective options may want to try online therapy. A person can also enquire with different therapists about sliding scale fees.
